Well if I want people to read my blog I suppose I better tell you a bit about me.
First BIG revelation is I'm not really a monkey!!!
I'm actually a 40 guy who lives in Bury St Edmunds who worships the living God.
I become a christian about 5 years ago, for many years I was totally opposed to the church and Christianity, I thought that Christians must be mad to worship a God that you can't see.
Well about 8 years ago my mum was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer and the doctors gave her 6 months to live, typical mum she wouldn't give in and fought it for 3 years before finally loosing the battle.
It was shortly after that, things got even worse for me, I felt as though i couldn't cope, couldn't go on, even though I had a wonderful fiancee who had been there through it all with me, one night I sat down my flat that i had and found all my mum's old tablets and got a carving knife and tried to kill myself.
It was just as I had the knife at my wrist I heard a voice say "STOP!! think of what you have got to live for and all I have done for you".
I thought i was going crazy so I put down the knife and ran up to my fiancee's house (only a few doors up from my flat), I didn't tell her what had just happened, I went on MSN and spoke to my `sister, Trish' and told her what had just happened, she told me that God had stopped me and that I need to pray, there was a bible verse that i knew the name and numbers but i never knew what it read, so she told me to look it up and I would see what God had done for me, because at that point I could only see that he had taken my mum from me.
The verse was John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
When I went to bed that night I prayed the best I could and over the next few weeks things slowly got easier, the next step for me was to go to church, I thought that after all the things i had done and said in my life that if I went into a church I would be struck down or it would burst into flames.
The first church I went to was Westgate Chapel, however that church wasn't for me, even though I was made to fell welcome i couldn't wait to get out of there, but Trish said "don't give up, there is a church that is right for you out there, you just need to find it."
Well as a rebellious youth I used to go to West Road Church youth club, after all it was somewhere to hang out as there wasn't much to do on the estate that I lived on, so I thought I'd give them a look and see what they are about
The first Sunday I went to West Road Church, I pretty much snuck in the door so that no one would notice me going in, but as I entered the church I felt a real warmth from within the felt almost like getting a really nice hug, I sat at the back and stayed for the whole of the service, at the end of the service a few people came up to me and had a chat and asked have I been to the church before, one of these people being Graham Jack, little did I know at that time the part Graham would end up playing in my path to finding God.
After going to church a few more weeks Graham got up at the front of the church and spoke about something called an alpha course ( http://www.alpha.org/try) he said that it might not give all the answers but might help people to get their heads round Christianity and faith.
Well at that point I still had loads of questions i wanted to ask, the main one being if god is so great why did he take my mum form me.
Whilst on the course I began to grow and slowly come closer to God and I realized that some times even in the worse of situations that God is working on a greater good, one night on the course we did a session about forgiveness, well my Dad had not always been the best Dad in the world (I'll expand on that another time maybe), but I thought if God can forgive me Dad for all he did why can't I, so at the end of the session I asked Graham to help me pray and forgive me dad, I did and it felt like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Things where going ok, I had got myself a job, but i really didn't like it and I kept on praying that a different and better job would come along, then early one morning I couldn't sleep so I got up to get a drink and on the way back to bed I heard that same voice I had heard that night down my flat, " 2 Corinthians 6" at that point I still had not read the bible so didn't know what this verse was, I book marked it on a bible app that I had downloaded and the next morning I read it and this is what it said.
Companions as we are in this work with you, we beg you, please don’t squander one bit of this marvelous life God has given us.
God reminds us, I heard your call in the nick of time; The day you needed me, I was there to help. Well, now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped.
Don’t put it off; don’t frustrate God’s work by showing up late, throwing a question mark over everything we’re doing.
Our work as God’s servants gets validated—or not—in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly . . . in hard times, tough times, bad times; when we’re beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we’re telling the truth, and when God’s showing his power; when we’re doing our best setting things right; when we’re praised, and when we’re blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all.
It reminded me of the night that i was down the flat, and that what I tried to do maybe that was my call out for help, it was at that point that I finally accepted that God had stepped in and saved my life and that he had a plan for me, I phoned Graham and Trish, (it was about 5:30 in the morning), but even though they both had a good chat with me about things and after their chats I decided that I was gonna give God a chance and give my life to him.
It as been the best decision i have ever made, because he has turned my life around completely.
Two years to the day after my mum died my Fiancees dad died suddenly, that really shook my faith, because I prayed so hard the her dad would live, but over the next few days I realized that all I went through with loosing my mum helped me to be able to be there for my fiancee and understand all that she was going through, it was a pretty rough time for all of us, but some good come out of even that situation, my fiancee has now also come to faith and we have both been able to be there for those who have lost someone.
Well I have now been baptized (a year to the day after first going to West Road Church) and my fiancee is now considering getting baptized as well.
I'm gonna leave things there for now, because as you can see I can talk for ever once I start.
I hope you have enjoyed what you have read about me and my life so far, trust me there is a whole lot more to come :-)
